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Guest · Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:20 pm Post subject: A Funny

This appeared on Steve's fishing forum and I though it was quite funny. Very Happy

Two elderly friends, Bill and Sam, met
in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and
discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't
think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got
worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at
the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find
out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there
sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him
so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world
happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress
at the coffee shop where we sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years
old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty./"

The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

Guest · Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: Another good one!

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

7. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

8. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

9. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

10. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

11. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

12. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

13. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

14. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

15. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

16. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

17. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

18. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

19. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

A shame there's only 19. Can anyone think of one more to make it up to 20!

poperagurl · Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 26

lol that was so funny Laughing

_________________
KAREN PATRICIA

bestpi · Joined: 26 Apr 2007 Posts: 33 Location: Tucson Arizona USA

A shame there's only 19. Can anyone think of one more to make it up to 20

20. Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his Mother in-law in the bushes?

Guest · Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:53 pm Post subject:

Nice one John!!!!

Now there's a challenge for someone to think of another one.

Susie Veale · Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 15 Location: Australia

Hilarious Peggy and John!! Well done! Laughing

Susie xx
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Karen · Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

These are really funny Peggy thanks. Well done John I can't think of one but I will keep trying I must know one.

catlover · Joined: 26 Apr 2007 Posts: 5

Get some whisky top it up with water & throw it on the lawn. When the grass grows it will come up half cut!! Jane

Zeya · Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 2

heeheehee, loved the mother-in-law one John! I shall never look at mine in the same light again!! thanks for that! A great number 20 to add to the other funnies!! Laughing

Zeya

Karen · Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 8

That's good Jane I like that one.
Kar x